Joy Best

For the Lord loves justice, he will never abandon the godly.

Psalm 37:28a

This is fresh from the pages of recent history.  Last week in fact.  I think we all have things that are hard for us, no matter how many times we face the same thing, it seems always to be an “I don’t know if I’ll get through this” kind of moment.  Sometime in my 50’s I became aware that I have struggled with a fear of abandonment probably all my life.  While I am bold on the outside, emotionally, I am filled with anxiety if I feel abandoned.

This is a problem when you are married to someone who is called to travel a lot! While my intellect is on the right track, often if Gary is away and I am at home, inside I would feel a sense of shame, disorientation and like a loser generally not knowing how to initiate to others.  So I knew I was going to face a test when he was going to be away on our 40th anniversary.  I was fine months ago when we talked about it and agreed that it would be a good thing to do to bless the church he was going to, and we have had to be flexible many times about when a certain birthday, anniversary or whatever was celebrated, but as the time grew closer, I became aware that I needed to ask God to heal me from this stuff.

I asked the Lord to be my husband, like I have many times, and that He would teach me about the truth that he really is my best friend.  Many times he has shown me this, and I have many beautiful stories of how he has shown up practically and been a friend, a husband, a father, whatever was needed, but it has been the same thing as with faith…I leak…and each time it would be the same struggle.  The day of our anniversary started with hosting the school board group here at Dominion Hill, which turned out great.  I got to use my hospitality gifting, and even had a great chat with the superintendant as we went along about my dream of  teaching disadvantaged elementary kids how to grow food.

After that was over, I was just keeping my eyes open for what God was going to bring me for an anniversary gift.  I know he’s into long term commitment, and figured that he would like to celebrate that somehow, because he’s into celebration.  As I was eating supper on our porch, I just happened to look down our driveway, and there was a lovely bright rainbow right at the end of our driveway! Now that is a gift you can’t buy in any store. I knew it was the gift.  The maker of the universe took time to send a rainbow to Digdequash, and made sure I was in a spot where I could see it. Wow, how is that for attention to detail?

I read again the story of the first rainbow, and the themes I felt were appropriate for this time were: a new beginning, and the promise of God’s faithfulness to a family who will obey him, no matter where the mainstream is going, and his honoring of obedience in the face of looking foolish.

With this rainbow gift came a peace that only comes from seeing God show up in such a profoundly impacting way that you can’t mistake it.

And don’t worry…we are going to celebrate our anniversary in Sweden when we’re there in a couple of weeks!